ABBY C.


On having done it all (or having simply translated that which came before)
as if all the glory soul talk said something other than that alreay laid aside in the pasture]
as if, when all is done, the pasture would have something extra just for us

as if the psychologists can prove that this "us" best remembers the first and last in a series]
and as if the first and last were thereby more important
as if coming to the finale could only happen with the tick of your watch
as if that watching didn't change the rules of the game
or as if that game could never carry on quite so smoothly without it

just as if both these two could not happen in one fell swoop, like the spring of
the jack-in-the-box,]
twisting, smiling

as if jack wasn't already everyone's name, except when jacking off

or continuing simply meant remembering better what had changed the conversation

as if, that is, she was a crack

as if, even so, the groove could be put elsewhere, or filed or lost or tripped
over suddenly]
like a lightening bolt

and as if you were the "of course, of course" to her laugh track
and as if god only gave you her to open, that is,
and more, as if that "to do" was something other than just showing up

or loving her then meant spending every last dime twice over

as if you could add it all up, carefully slice away the forgotten members,
and redeem them later, piece-by-piece & in-full

as if elvis' wart should have a steep price

and conceptual art could be made from that wart's interest

and we could only talk of big breasts, cash cows, and creamed crops

as if even that accounts for all the time I then experienced

as if, that is, their titles could only be precise intrigues, clamor, sexual tours,]
or the twelve parts of her

as if the twelfth-step could only be chanted to "he," the supreme being
but, even so, we had to hug everyone indiscriminately

but it is as if I could do better notetaking
or that I find your secret boring
and kielbasa would be better strapped-on than dripping
(then at least we would know whose cock it was screwing)

again, as if anyone but secretaries would go to a "don't tell our boss sale"
and because of that, each and every one of us would save money

absolutely, absolutely, and so ...

or merely a new almanac of sexual perversions
or the best of all possible worlds was truly something swarthy
or x-files meant something about x and only x knew it
or going round-a-bout was indeed the square way
or in select moments that no one
chose

would, would be cutting corners

as if q, unlike x, added something to his wallet, but not yours
as if I did drive entirely through new mexico with just my knees
as if, when turning the cruise control off for "just a sec,"
you saw me lying eternally for one full hour

as if the proper note had something to match it
(and had the name Esther in real life)

or Fantasy Island lied to me about there being a fantasy in the
first place,]
and then, after going back to check, seemed to laugh at itself for doing so

as if heroic deeds could be done without innocent bystanders
and women would shriek uncontrollably at his naked body
and the wife would be the only one to save from the burning building
and the playboy centerfold could treat men as sex objects, finally

surely, a crude trick at best

Sexy As If Sex Did Not Have The Same
As If Playing Those Cards Meant Playing With Random
Meant Something Out Of

AND THERE COMES A TIME WHEN (DESPITE ALL ITS DONE FOR YOU) THAT OLD UNDERWEAR
JUST HAS TO BE THROWN OUT

The very time when the poet would remark with a swift title:
"On the Golden Anniversary, or having the hold of one who asked for it not
being so held"]

as if, all and all, nicotine "fit"
and their statistics measured somebody's well-being

and, by the fire escape, she ran:
"wouldn't ya know it, exactly as if there was someone there to chase her"

her and her and
and close, with a 4 x 4

depth, for example:
"the shadow cast across the coral clearly displays the cleft surface of this
Pacific species and imparts a strong, three-dimensional quality to the
photograph"]

Upon A Shadow Both Casting and Imparting a Truly Cleft Surface, Only Then

contagious as a day's daydream, or
come back! all is forgiven

and,

On Being Pregnant Once Or Twice:
it passed