A friend that I had been living with for years finally bought us this little tiny vacuum cleaner because we had moved into an apartment that had carpet and we had cats.

Well I really liked using it and in fact I sometimes used it every single day and it just gave me a feeling of satisfaction to know that all of the filth was out of the floor, and that if I wanted to sit on it or draw or read or anything that it would be perfectly clean.

And I really particularly liked emptying the little bag out after every time I vacuumed so I could see exactly how much filth I had eliminated from the apartment.

I kind of like measuring things, seeing what exactly the specific volume is. Like, I've been keeping my toe and fingernail clippings for years because I'm curious how much fingernails do you have during a lifetime.

Anyway, my friend decided to move in with her boyfriend and I took the vacuum cleaner and I moved into a studio apartment that had carpet and I didn't have anything to clean it with...and I just became more and more conscious of all the stuff that was on the floor and I would see all this stuff everytime I came in.

It started to bother me more and more and I had to ask her if I could borrow it and have to drive over there and pick it up and promise to return it within 24 hours because they had a maid, and their maid was coming and needed to vacuum the next day so it was really a hassle on my part and I knew it couldn't go on this way but I was kind of broke so I couldn't see buying a vacuum in the near future.

And then she broke up with her boyfriend and moved out and left all the stuff with him including the vacuum cleaner.

And she also had a bike that I needed to borrow so I had keys that they had given me like, as a safety net and one day when he was at work I went over there to get the bike and I thought maybe I'd just take the vacuum cleaner and no one would notice, or if they did I could say,"Oh, I'm really sorry that I forgot to mention that I took the vacuum cleaner. I'll bring it back really soon," and so I took it and no one noticed and I keep it in a closet in my kitchen where I keep the broom.

And my friend came over to visit so I, um, moved it to my clothes closet and put it behind some dresses so that she wouldn't notice it was there when she got there and she has since visited alot and everytime I know she's coming I over I hide it so that she won't see it and remember that its hers and tell me that I have to give it back to her boyfriend or, god forbid, give it back to her and...um, that's it.