If the nursing home or retirement home whatever it ends up being, isn't too far, they could just run in, grab the old Maybelline tweezers, pluck one, two, and be gone in minutes.

The three of them ought to be able to work out doing that for me no matter how busy they get. I've mentioned it to them already.

They laugh.

They think I'm kidding.

It's not much to ask.

"Please pluck the hair from my moles on a regular basis when I'm too old to do it."

Could be genetic legacy for two of them. Men get hair in their ears not their moles. They didn't spend as much time riding the elevated trains in the city as I did. I saw all kinds of old ladies get on. They were shoppers or sales clerks. They smelled good, their shoes were shined, but they overlooked the mole hairs jutting out. Ruined their whole look.

They didn't spend as much time with nuns as I did. Facial hair seemed to be real obvious on nuns, but vanity as a venial sin probably kept them from plucking. I started dreading mine when I noticed it on nuns- in eighth grade I think. Didn't seem right. Women devote their lives to doing good and what happens when they get old- facial hairs from moles.

They deserved better.

I always had a lot of moles everywhere and I just knew somehow I'd get those thick untapered hairs growing out of them some day. They don't grow out of moles anywhere else-just faces.