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I've gathered wood from the lower ravine
I'm staring into a computer monitor..my retinas quietly frying from its radiation.
The temperature plummets and causes my tears to freeze on the edges of my eyes as I make my
way back to my shelter.
Each pixel is foremost in my mind...like grains of sand in a mandala.
Each snowflake drifting with the rest to form a negative-
looking landscape of frozen sand.
I cut, I copy, I paste
I mixed up a dough paste with some water and flour and formed a nice flat bread that
slowly cooks on the wood embers.
the phone rings
My mind is a buzz of thoughts mixed with a chill and feelings of hunger.
it goes to voicemail
I write a few elegant words on a dirty brown scrap of paper... Aum Mani Padme Hum
I don't even hear it
I sit in silence and look out over the dark, star twinkling sky.
I send out a sample version via e-mail
I'm seeing the light that's traveled millions of miles.
The file disappears and begins its light-speed journey through the web
Starlight emitted millions of years before finally reaches my eyes.
I do an image invert
Staring so long makes the black sky and white snow change from positive to
negative before my eyes.
and adjust the brightness
I decide to light some old candles in the corner of my hut.
My CD player goes crazy
A flicker, a gust of wind, and I am left in dark silence.
It changes itself to a radio station from shuffle CD mode all be itself.
Then suddenly one candle, refusing to be extinguished, re-lights itself.
Damn thing!
Damn wind.
I get up and find the remote
I get up off my cushion and re-light the other candles.
The thing is never near me when I need it
Funny, they never blow out when I'm sitting right next to them.
"There! Ahh Nine Inch Nails is God!"
"There!", bathed again in candlelight I think, "To be with
God is to be one with everything."
Back in front of my computer, I begin again.
Back on my cushion, I begin again what I've done all my life.
Filter/Sharpen
To sharpen my mind to the equivalent of the Badorian Dagger.
"If only I could use these filters on my brain."
My mind filters out everything, even the door violently swinging open.
The music chants, "Goddamn this noise inside my head." I can't hear it. I sit motionless, staring
at the screen.
Lost in the stillness of my mind.... the snow blows over me through the open doorway.
"How can you stand this noise?", a business colleague asks standing in my office door.
How can I stand the snow drifting around and freezing my body or this life and all its
hardships and joys?
I'm catapulted out of my focused state. "Huh?, what was that you said?" I look up.
I'm saved.
It's six o'clock and I've created something wonderful.
I am surrounded by golden light of evening.
Someone is speaking to me, a spirit, a business colleague, and angel.
"What did you say?" I ask again.
She speaks again to me but I don't understand what she's saying.
Yet, some part of me understands perfectly.
"ERASE ME," the music blares.
Her beeper goes off and she spreads her arms wide and begins to glow brightly.
She's gone.
I flatten the layers of reality and save it to my hard drive.
