It all started out in fun. But now, well. I've lost every thing.
nothings left. my husband of 25 years is gone. my 2 girls don't even know me. Just because on a dare , I took that crack.
I was a very shy and quiet girl. I had a very low self estem.
I did drink some beer . But, I never got in to "the hard drugs" I was afraid of getting shots. so I wasn't about to give myself one.
Now, look at me. My car. My life. All gone. Just because I never thought crack would hurt me? What got me was how fast it hit me ! I just had to have more. I lost my appitite. In fact when I was so hungry , I couldn't even eat.
I was unable to go home . It didnt take me long before my bank account was gone. I lost my abilit to remember. I lost my job. My husband told me get help or don't come back.
All that was left was to work on the street. I tryed to work on ny own. But after being almost killed twice and money never paid. well, i was forced to get a pimp.
My life as I had once knew it now was but a dream.
Now it was either I brought Matt $ 1,000.a day or I couldn"t get my fix.Or if I would live untill tomorrow .
Then when my life was at its worst. I ended up in the hospital.
Their a mirricle happend . I was on deaths door . No one cered about me. I was dead already as far as my family was concerend. Even Matt had left. I had given up on any "hope" .
Amanda came in to my room and my life once againg took another turn. In the hospital I was detoxified and blasted with doses of vitiamns. .Amanda came every day? I couldn't figure out why? Then when I was starting to feel .
To think. To ask what had happened to me? Their was Amanda. We talked for hours. she explained what had happend to her and that now she wanted to help me. One day at a time I started to come a live again. I went into a treatment program. I now have 16 years clean and sober. I have a new realtionship with my higer power. My girls are back in my life. Life isnt easy but. today I know I don't have to Make it a big Deeal. that all I have is to day.Not yesterday and not tomorrow. Just today. And some days I have to take it 1 hour at a time . And I don't take dares any more .