Frank Sinatra was driving his Suburban Assault Vehicle through the desert at 80mph. He was enjoying a pina colada and listening to Bach. The sunroof was wide open and occasionally some bird shit fell in, but it always seemed to fall on the passenger seat, which was empty. Frank was hungry, so he decided to stop somewhere and eat lunch. His mouth was dry from the pina colada and the dusty air. He stepped out of his Suburban Assault Vehicle and stepped on a small peice of something that looked and smelled like an exotic form of animal excrement. Frank had never walked into an eating or drinking establishment with shoes that were aromatically encumbered in this particular way. But he was hungry, and there was nobody around to wipe his shoes. Due to the heat, he was sure that his feet stank, and probably smelled as bad as the exotic excrement on the underside of his shoes. He decided to use the only available implement, a videotape sent to him from an unknown commedian to wipe his shoes off. It was difficult, and there was no water around so it took many scrapes of the tape to remove the offending ofal from the bottom of his gucci's. While he was engaged in this endeavor, the animal who created this situation was watching him from behind a dry dead plant nearby. Frank's cellphone rang and the armadillo knew it was his/her/it's chance. It ran up to the other side of the Suburban Assault Vehicle and urinated on the car alarm sensor, then proceeded to defecate in the air conditioning intake valve under the catalytic converter. The armadillo fled back to its usual habitat under the guestroom at the resturant and frank came out of the bar with his fly open.