I regret so much that I've done. What I've done isn't much, that's why I regret it. Maybe I was abused, I know as a child I didn't get any attention. I was and am still an outsider. I would like to remember more about my past, all I know are the uneventful parts. Going to school, talking to no one, I was afraid of any close communication. I was more comfortable acting in a play in front of hundreds of people than having a conversation with one person. Embarassment isn't a big deal, closeness is scary. I don't care if someone who doesn't know me thinks that I look silly. I'm afraid of what someone might see that is inside me.
That's why I'm writing this, so you can see and understand. I'm trying to make up for lost time, but whenever I make progress, I get depressed and destroy my gains. I'm not inherently shy or depressed. I shouldn't be acting like this, this is not part of my "true personality". Well that's it for now. I appreciate your reading this.