ADVANCING ON SATORI

    by

    Joy Leftow

    
    

      Been waiting all night
      to hear your poetry, I said,
      You're that beat generation,
      spewin that heat and light,
      pure energy, that scene
      You were on the bus or off it
      I should've been there
      with ya all back then
      
      You were hardly born then, you answered,
      probably just born in tha sixties
      No, I said,
      I coulda been there
      I was born in 50
      I shoulda been there
      But somehow I never went anywhere
      
      I admit it tho, I wanted to be On The Road.
      And one day I almost took The
      Electric Kool Aid Acid Test
      But on that day,
      I was absent from life.
      
      I shoulda been there
      But somehow I never went anywhere
      
      I cud tell you sometime, ya said,
      why you never went anywhere
      You, with your omnipotent self
      How would you know anyway?
      I wondered, Did ya really know
      why I never left home?
      It was a prison
           built of fear
                loneliness
                     emptiness and despair
      
      I never had a life
      a child's needs unmet
      never given what I longed for
      
      I couldn't have what wasn't there
      Fuck it,
           I'll say it, it was abuse
                neglect
           comes in so many forms
           eats away your self-esteem
      
      Made me weak,
           slow,
                scared to go
      Robbed me of my faith,
           my soul,
                glow
      My  inner harmony,
           my sanctity
                my sanity
      I was a prisoner of fear,
           a prisoner of war.
      
      I met you,
      read your sixties words
      your suffuse charm
      emanating from your Hobo soul
      
      I wanted to possess your poetry
      your style
           the 60's and the 70's
           poetry of hope
           An air of romance
          a taste of escape
      A breath of fresh air
           from a smog filled street
           the smoke and stink
           rising slowly like gases
           from the filthy pavement
      I was a prisoner of war
      
      Your words bring back the time...
      Words like book, crib, jib
      a stone throw away
      the sun low fives the trees
      
      God damn!
      Your words excite me
      Sex talk
      like poontang,
      tallywhacker.
      Wow man, I never heard it,
      But it's cool, I understand it.
      
      Your blatantly primitive lust
      your licentious eyes
      devouring me
      
      Staring at my sagging breasts
      cruising over my body
      smoothly,
      as though it were highway 59
      Resting on my nipples
      tingling
      like a jellied door buzzer
      my fallen butt and
      orange peel thighs
      
      Only served to fuel your lust
      my allure waved strong
      snagged by your naked desire,
      your lust
      as you gorged on my scent
      teasing my libido
      A test in trust
      
      Your tongue flicked against your upper lip
      What're ya havin babe, ya said.
      No thanks, refused the drink
      Been waitin all night to hear your poem
      a moment abundant with heat
      stifling humidity
      complaints about intensity
      panties clinging damply
      
      Unbearable, prolonged
      I want to hear the poem
      my date languishing in time
      You glass passed to my hand
      Contact,
      your eyes implored
      lust and soul
      
      Give me sixties or give me death
      symbols of peace,
      Baby you've got heart,
      Go with the flow
      no looking back
      no sorrows or regrets
      resolute to recreate
      a life renewed
      reincarnate
      more chances to fulfil the goal
      Don't hesitate
      Go on!  Get on the road
      Don't worry if the is bus is full
      
      Symmetry of faith
      advancing on satori
      will get you there
      explore,
      search for more
      no more prisoners of war
      

    © Joy Leftow 1995